A Christmas Hallucination

The

stockings are stuffed with lambskin condoms and pocket knives

instead of greenbacks and peppermint canes.

The

pine is replaced by a weeping willow and

the mistletoe above the door is really a marijuana leaf.

The

angel that sits atop the tree is

dead; some would say death has been kind to her, but the

orangutan titties and hollowed eye sockets

beg to differ.

My brother’s gift is a Japanese sex

doll with all three insertion slots and

my sister got a caroling

Furby without an off switch.

I got a Transformer! A mini-cooper that

metamorphosed into Mephistopheles, with a

fire-breathing mandible and

horns protruding through a Santa hat, capped with

tiny plastic reindeer antlers.

After presents Jack Skellington, Grinch, the Gingerbread Man, and I

ate milk and cookies;  but

the milk was really curdled Eggnog

topped not with nutmeg, but with residuals of picked scabs –  and

the cookies were really Snickerdoodles baked with microdots.

Tis the Season.

-I feel like this poem is a little too improvisational, which I don't believe makes it as effective of some of my other poems. Although I really like the humor in it, I feel as if it might just seem more like a collage of bizarre imagery rather than a complete poem.